Trenton Tales from Julie Hill Lehr

Julie Hill Lehr

It is officially spring. As the earth renews and the flowers bloom, I prepare my annual birthday card for my dear friend Cathy Clark McKay. Full disclosure, I have known Cathy since kindergarten, and we were best friends through junior high, high school and even college. She is my hero.

She is my hero for many reasons. Once you learn more about her, you will understand why.

She Loves Her Family

Cathy was born to B.J. and Maxine Clark on April 14, 1958, in Trenton. B.J. was an engineer on the Rock Island Railroad, which provided jobs for many in Trenton. Maxine worked part time at Grundy Electric. Before long, the family added another girl, Cathy’s sister, Cindy. The Clarks enjoyed their lives.

Cathy said her parents were wonderful and loving.

“They stressed so many values that shaped my life. They were big on conversation, always talking things out,” she said. “They raised me and Cindy in a Christian home.”

Cathy said she remembers Trenton as a fun town with plenty to do. Her Grandmother Clark lived in Trenton, and her Grandpa Glen and Grandma Audrey Robertson lived in Edinburg. They visited them frequently.

“Grandpa Glen was a baseball player in his younger years, and he was always up for a game of catch,” Cathy said. “Grandma Audrey taught me to sew on her treadle Singer sewing machine. At the age of 8, I was sewing quilts and doll clothes. I am so fortunate to have learned that skill and hope to pass it down to my daughter and granddaughters.”

One of her cherished memories is going Christmas shopping with her dad.

“He was gone a lot on the railroad working, so it seemed like we were always in search of my mom’s present the evening before Christmas Eve,” she said. “We always bought her a new pair of house shoes. As we grew older, Dad would buy Mom a bottle of the latest perfume, since she probably had all the house shoes she needed by then. I remember holding my dad’s hand as we walked down the streets of Trenton with the beautifully lit store windows.”

She Loves to Learn

Cathy excelled at school. She was a good student and enjoyed attending Trenton schools.

“I worked hard and studied, but also had fun,” she said.

Looking back on her time at Trenton High School, one favorite memory is playing on the girls basketball team.

“My sophomore year, THS began girls basketball, and I really enjoyed that,” she said. “Ron McCullough was our coach.”

It was the first time THS had fielded a girls basketball team. During Cathy’s senior year, the Lady Bulldogs were North Central Missouri Conference co-champions.

She participated in intramural sports as a member of the Girls Athletic Association. She especially enjoyed her business classes, including typing, shorthand and accounting.

“The school had all manual typewriters except for two electric ones,” she said. “If you were a fast and accurate typist, you quickly got moved to one of the electric typewriters. That was my goal.”

Her senior year, Cathy was elected THS Courtwarming queen. She was also a member of several organizations, including National Honor Society. She graduated in 1976 as valedictorian of her class.

The following year, Cathy attended Trenton Junior College, now North Central Missouri College. She said she loved TJC.

“We had a student lounge in Geyer Hall where all of the important information exchange took place,” she said.

Cathy was not sure what she wanted to major in but thought perhaps she would pursue nursing.

“I almost passed out dissecting the fetal pig,” she said. “So my sophomore year, I decided to also obtain a secretarial certificate along with the requirements for my Associate of Arts degree. That route proved to be the most practical for me.”

She graduated from TJC in 1978. The next fall, she went to Northeast Missouri State University, now Truman State University, where she majored in business education.

“I’m sure my parents were quite proud when I announced I would not be returning my senior year,” she said. “I was tired of school, and I had a summer job at Grundy Electric, which I loved. My dad quietly said, ‘Well, I know you will finish your degree someday.’ And I did.”

Cathy returned to Kirksville and took night classes. She completed her degree in business management from Tarkio College through the TJC outreach program.

She Is Dedicated to Her Career

While Cathy was at TJC, she worked part time for Doyle and Esther Ricketts at Ricketts Fabric Store. If you liked to sew, Ricketts Fabric had what you needed.

“That was a job I’ll always remember, the enjoyment I had and the lessons learned,” she said. “The importance of smiling and helping a customer select fabric or notions, the importance of keeping a tidy store, which included sweeping the sidewalk every morning, and putting out the awning in the morning and rolling it back in the evening.”

She started working at Grundy Electric in the summer of 1979 and never left. She was hired as a customer service representative. She later became an accountant, then office manager, and retired as assistant manager and manager of finance.

“In the 45 years I worked at Grundy Electric, I always took pride in the fact that I never asked anyone to do anything I had not done,” she said. “I think it’s important to know the job and what you are expecting of others. But it’s their job, so get out of the way and let them do it. Personal relationships are so important in any job. Be kind. Be nice. Treat others as you want to be treated.”

She Is an Involved Wife, Mother and Grandmother

Cathy met Steve McKay at a friend’s wedding. He was a farm boy from Galt, and they hit it off immediately. They married in 1980 and lived in the country for a few years.

Cathy remembers an interesting experience on the farm. Her father-in-law asked her to help round up sheep for shearing one day. She had never been around sheep and had no idea they would head toward daylight — the light they saw between your legs as you were trying to round them up.

“I took quite a ride, turned an aerial somersault and landed on the wool box,” she said. “All was quiet until I started laughing, and everyone knew I wasn’t hurt, so they all joined in. It was my first farm-life experience.”

Their daughter, Lesley, was born in 1982, and Kinnison was born in 1985. Steve was a home builder, so they moved to different houses often when the children were young.

“One day I looked down at a box beside the door,” Cathy said. “Kinnison had it full of all his treasures. He wasn’t risking us moving without taking his belongings.”

They were a happy family. Kinnison loved to work in the shop with his dad and build things. Lesley loved to shop and take trips to the mall. Steve and Cathy encouraged their children to become involved in whatever interested them, whether academics, sports, FFA projects, scouting or anything else.

Cathy said she felt fortunate to have grandparents nearby to help them. Grandma Max helped chauffeur the children when needed.

“It truly takes a village to raise a child, and the village of Trenton was always very supportive,” she said.

She and Steve are retired now, though they both keep busy. Their children are doing well and have families of their own. Lesley, her husband, James, and daughter Audrey live in Harrisburg. Kinnison, Everett and Nora live in Chillicothe. Steve and Cathy attend their events and enjoy being with them whenever they can.

She Is Resilient, Positive and Inspirational

One of the most important reasons Cathy is my hero is that she has undergone many challenges in her life and handled them with grace. Her dad died when she was only 26. She said she misses his wisdom. Her mother suffered from unrelenting Crohn’s disease most of her life, which affected Cathy and Cindy.

And Cathy is a 25-year cancer survivor.

Cathy’s cancer story could be a book. In fact, Kinnison told her she should write a book about her cancer journey. In this feature, we will touch on some of her story.

It started in 2001 when she was 43. She said her life was perfect — a loving husband, exceptional children, a job she enjoyed, good friends and a meaningful church life. Little did she know that one phone conversation would change her life forever.

A routine mammogram had detected a suspicious spot, a spot the size of a pencil lead. The surgeon said the biopsy looked good. On Sept. 7, her surgeon called with the news that the very small spot was, indeed, breast cancer.

Cathy said telling her family was very hard. Her mother was dealing with her own health struggles. As usual, Steve was her rock. Kinnison worried about how the diagnosis might affect Lesley in addition to his concern for Cathy. Telling Lesley was the hardest.

“I felt like I was passing on a death sentence to my daughter, but I knew I had to tell her and be brutally honest about it,” Cathy said.

On Oct. 3, she had a mastectomy with reconstruction. The surgeon removed 22 lymph nodes, and they were clear. Her tumor was negative for estrogen, but it was HER-2 positive. Doctors determined there was no need for chemotherapy or further treatment.

In January 2002, she had a breast implant, which she said was the most painful of her surgeries. That same year, her mother died in April.

In January 2003, she had a backache that would not stop. Her blood work was good, and she and her doctor felt she had probably overdone it at Christmas. In February 2003, she went to the doctor, and he determined she had pleurisy. She took medication but still did not feel better, so the doctor ordered a CT scan just to be sure. He expected the results in a few days.

The next morning, Steve came into her office at work.

“I told him to leave, that I was fine, even though he hadn’t said a word,” Cathy said.

The doctor had called Cindy so she could find Steve to be with Cathy when he told her the cancer was back. Her doctor had known her family for a long time, including her grandparents, parents and children as patients. The cancer had moved to her bones.

“No one had to tell me this was stage 4 breast cancer,” Cathy said. “I had done my Internet research and knew this was as bad as it gets. I knew when I went to the office that afternoon with Steve and my oncology nurse, I was in search of staying alive.”

This time, Cathy was truly battling for her life. She had a port inserted and, every Thursday for five hours for eight months, she had chemotherapy. She counts herself fortunate to have had family and friends who came to sit with her throughout the process.

“The chemo was brutal,” Cathy said. “Relationships kept me going. Because of relationships, my journey has been memorable.”

She attributes her success in overcoming the cancer to several things. Her strong faith was very important. She had the support of a determined family and good friends who helped keep her going.

“I realize now the whys of my breast cancer are being revealed every day,” she said. “I have been able to help many of my friends through their diagnosis and journey. The calls, cards and prayers were a major part of my healing. It makes you realize just how many relationships you have established over the years. Cancer has actually made me appreciate life and everything around me. I believe it has made my family stronger, more caring, as we’ve grown together in our faith.”

Cathy still has cancer cells in her bones. It has been 25 years since her first diagnosis. She still has scans and blood work every six months. Luckily, her cancer is not active. Cancer has not stopped her from taking on projects and making the most of her life. In fact, it has made her do more.

She Is a Community Leader

Cathy said she is a person who needs to keep busy, and she has definitely done that throughout her life. When her children were young, she was a member of the Trenton R-IX School Board for nine years. She served as a board member of the Missouri Electric Cooperative Employees Credit Union for 22 years. She was a past president of the Missouri Accountants Association.

She serves on the NCMC Foundation Board, the Trenton Main Street Board and the City of Trenton Utility Board. She is also an election judge.

She is an elder and treasurer of Hodge Presbyterian Church, a member of Chapter MN, PEO, a member of the Trenton Rotary Club and the Trenton Antiques Study Club. She also works part time for Hy-Vee Floral when needed.

Helping in the community has fulfilled Cathy’s desire to give back.

“When I was a child being raised in Trenton, someone took the time to build this community for future generations,” she said. “I believe it is now my turn. If there is a community project, I am game to help if I can.”

Even with all of that, Cathy finds time to have fun. She enjoys camping, sewing and spending time with family and friends.

She Is Kind and Generous

Cathy is always happy to support a friend. She participates fully in helping through many church activities. She is active in planning her Class of 1976 alumni reunion. She and Cindy enjoy attending Arts Alive programming. She is invested in the community and lives her life to the fullest.

“I have many things to be thankful for,” she said. “My bout with cancer really opened my eyes even wider to what is really important. I have a sign that I looked at every day when I was going through my cancer treatments. It says: Faith, Family and Friends. That’s all a person needs.”

I think you will agree that my reasons for making Cathy my hero are many. She might now be your hero, too.